If You Can't Say Something Nice...

If You Can't Say Something Nice...
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Sunday, June 04, 2006

Here Goes The Bride!

Well, folks, this is it. My last post as a single gal. :)

I am getting married to the most wonderful man I've ever known next Saturday. I'm off work this week (which is where I generally try to stealth blog) in order to tackle the zillion little things that still await attention before the big day. Then I get married, and then The Boy and I conquer the UK!

We are off to a glorious 3 days in London, and three weeks throughout England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Makes my little Anglophile heart go pitter-pat.


I'm sure after my return I will be a) exhausted, and b) overflowing with pictures and anecdotes of my true heart's home. That is, unless The Boy and I refuse to leave London. It could so happen!

I hope that you all have a wonderful June full of love and happiness and excitement, as mine is destined to be.


|| Stephanie 9:18 PM

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Pimp My Bride!

Hey, peeps. Do you realize I'm going to be married in 9 days? Crazy!

If you are not currently married, here are my wedding tips for you as I embark down the aisle.

1) Give yourself plenty of time to plan the wedding. 3 or 4 years is probably good. Less is asking for trouble.

2) Really try hard to talk your mate into eloping. It is in everyone's best interest.

3) Failing to elope, think about your budget early on. Are you paying for things yourself, or are you going to bring in the bank of mom & dad? Set your budget and stick with it. Your budget works something like this -- we would like to invite X number of people. One person will cost $Y. X x Y = Z. Add to Z lots and lots of money for all of the things that suddenly become insanely important to you like disposable cameras, vases, flowers, etc. Get quotes from all your vendors as early as possible. Add Z plus all of your quotes together. Does that seem like a reasonable amount of money to spend? If so, you're not trying hard enough. Go back and add in strange things that you never cared for before, like every wedding tradition known to man, in every culture on earth. Take that revised figure and multiply by 12. Now that's a budget!*

4) Your bride (or you, as the bride), no matter how rational, will become a gibbering idiot where hair and makeup are concerned. Men, tell her how nice she looks with a pound of blue eyeshadow, spidery lashes and sporting really big hair. It will be better in the long run if you take the Crocodile Hunter's approach to wild creatures rather than suggesting that maybe things should be toned down. Really, just smile and nod.

5) Know that you will fight with just about everyone in your wedding party. Usually for no good reason. You don't have to be (or be marrying) Bridezilla. Weddings are just stressful and tensions run high. It is for this reason that I suggest #6.

6) You might not want to choose siblings you are close to or really good friends to stand up for you at your ceremony. This may well be a recipe for disaster. You always hurt the ones you love, so I suggest cultivating a superficial relationship with your dental hygienist, your gardener, the neighbor down the street...in short, anyone you won't be hurt to lose by the close of festivities.

7) If possible, marry an accountant, military person, or someone else who is really good at organization and strategy. These people will not leave you alone to deal with the many, many lists that will become an inevitable part of your life for the next 4 years (or however long you have till your wedding).

8) Consider wallpapering your post-nubial home with your wedding planning lists. They should serve some useful purpose, after all.

9) Don't listen to other people's advice. It will make you crazy.

That's about it. I'm pretty much tapped out. I am only slightly tethered to the real world as it stands because I'm still working at my regular job right now. But all of next week leading up to the wedding, I will be all wedding planning, all the time.


*Remember, this is just an estimate. All kinds of unexpected costs will no doubt come up. It's all part of the fun.

|| Stephanie 2:38 PM