So, I Had a Birthday
My car talks to me. !!!!
Last week I was driving to lunch, listening to talk radio when suddenly my radio cut out. I figured it was some fluke with the station when suddenly a voice boomed out of (all 6 of) my car radio speakers, "Hello Stephanie! Our records show that you have not blah blah blah On*Star. In just a moment blah blah customer service rep blah blah." And then a woman's voice, "Hello Stephanie!"
The woman then proceeded to have an all-out conversation with me while I drove and, eventually, pulled over into a strip mall parking lot. It sort of creeped me out. I also felt like there must be a hidden camera in the car and couldn't help myself from looking around while she talked.
And then, on Friday... my car emailed me! GAH! Where will it end?
*You DO know what I'm referencing, right?
The Boy had his big nursing test today! Yay! Months of study, years of preparation culminated in this one grueling test, and he's all finished.
I told him to just imagine what he can do with all that newly free time. Mop the kitchen and bathroom... Vacuum... Help sort our old kitchen items and replace them with all the new wedding ones... Laundry...
Why do you suppose he was curled in the fetal position, softly weeping?
Okay, okay, he didn't weep. He just looked a little less than really super thrilled. Wouldn't want you to think he's less than manly. :)
In case you were in doubt about my level of dorkiness, let me reassure you that it remains consistently high.
My current favorite block of TV shows on Monday nights while my usual fare of sad sitcoms and outrageous dramas is on summer hiatus? Antiques Roadshow and The History Detectives on PBS. You may commence with the mocking.
Seriously, The History Detectives rock. I'm sorry, but they do. First of all, their theme song is Elvis Costello's Watching the Detectives. Secondly, there are two total nerds, like you would expect, a fairly attractive African-American guy, and a ridiculously hot girl that could not possibly be an antiques expert in real life or this would be a way more popular field.
The premise of the show is that people write to the detectives about objects that they have acquired that supposedly have some historical story behind them (the earliest film reel in existence, the first Coke advertisement, etc.). Then the History Detectives get to work detecting (duh). They travel around the country consulting with experts, and doing research in old labs and at obscure locations likely to yield info.
Yeah, so this is probably more than you ever wanted to know about the show.
Last Monday was a dark evening in my household, though, as the PBS fund drive precluded both of these shows. Inconceivable!* They better be on tonight if they know what's good for them.
*I probably should mention that last Wednesday I got to see The Princess Bride on the big screen. It was more awesome than you are imagining.
UPDATE: They were not on last night. Losers. Beware PBS! You have wronged the wrong dork!
[Insert Curse Word of Choice Here]!
I went to the dentist this morning. You can see where this is going, right?
Someone kill me now.
About a month ago I went for my semi-annual cleaning and was given the less-than-thrilling news that I have early-stage periodontal disease (gum disease, for those not 'in the know'). After very patiently and kindly explaining the disease to me, and assuring me that it was probably not my fault, since I do actually brush and floss, I was given the news that I would need this super deep cleaning and medication put at the roots of the particularly bad areas to try to reattach the gums to the teeth in those places. What a lucky girl I am!
Oh, and I needed a filling from the dentist.
Now, I love my dentist. I do. Not everyone can say that, but she is pretty kick-ass, and very, very nice. She's a 'gentle dentist' for wimps like me. I also love my hygienist. As nice as can be, and cute as a button.
But today I wanted to garrote them both with dental floss.
I went in for the filling first. While working on the filling my dentist noticed that the crown that she put in last year, on the tooth behind the one she was at-that-moment filling, was overhanging a little bit, creating a perfect place for bacteria to breed and contribute to the periodontitis.
So she asked if she could remove that crown and put on a new one, gratis. Not one to typically say nay when free goodies are at stake, I still hesitated on this one. I vaguely recall an equation that I learned last year when having 5 crowns done. Crowns = Pain. But the dentist said how important it is, and I always do what authoritarian types tell me ('cause I'm a sucker). So I agreed.
Unfortunately, this made me late for my super-duper cleaning, so the hygienist could only do 1/4 of my mouth instead of 1/2, as planned. If you haven't been the lucky recipient of this deep cleaning to help try to reverse some of the gum deterioration, let me tell you a little something about how it goes:
--poky thing shoots water into your gums to flush out bacteria and debris
--poky thing shoots medicated antiseptic wash into your gums to flush out bacteria and debris
--scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaape, chunk, scraaaaaaaaaaape, bzzzzzzzz, scraaaaaasaaape
--more poky things with antiseptic
--more with the scraaaaaaping
--syringe shoots medication to the roots around the tooth/gum areas that are the worst
Sound fun? I assure you, it is not.
Did I mention that the entire right side of my face was completely numb from three shot of novocaine? (This harkens back to that whole 'wimp' thing.) Yeah. So I have fat lip syndrome, a twitchy right eye, and I slur my speech. SO attractive.
Anyway, after the hygienist finished with me, it was back to the dentist for my temporary crown. Woofreakin'hoo.
So now here I sit at work, throbbing pain from the recently reopened wound where my crown was, with the residual pain and headache that novocaine gives me. Oh yeah, and I apparently have one of the smallest adult jaws that they've ever seen at my doctor's office, so holding my mouth open long enough to do all this work? Magic.
And the even better news is that I get to go back THREE MORE TIMES in the next 6 weeks to finish everything up. Ask me how thrilled I am. Go ahead.
[Expletive of choice! Expletive of choice! Expletive of choice!]
Yeah, no posts lately, but at least I'm finally uploading pictures.
Stay tuned for future stories (and goofy pictures!) including these gems: