If You Can't Say Something Nice...

If You Can't Say Something Nice...
Say Something Vague

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Boop-oop-oop-oop-Boop-oop-oop-oop Boop-oop-oop-oop-Boop-oop-oop-oop

Man Voluntarily Extends Shopping Expedition With Girlfriend!

News at 11!

I was browsing at Ross and saw a young couple looking among the racks. The guy pointed out a nice shirt to the girl, and she commented that no, she needed a white one or "they would freak out." At this point I walked away, expecting never to see this as-yet-unremarkable couple again.

About 20 minutes later I saw them again. She was holding a plain white button-down shirt in her hands. She was grousing that it would work okay, but she wasn't exactly crazy about it. This is where things got surreal and I heard Twilight Zone theme music. The guy looked at the girl and said, "You shouldn't have to settle. We've only been here for what? 5 minutes? Let's keep looking until you find something you really want."


First of all, guy time NEVER works in this way. It always goes the opposite. 5 minutes to a girl is 20 minutes to a guy. What happened to this guy that he was living on girl time?

Secondly, The Boy would rather have to eat glass than to go shopping with me. I'm fairly certain he's allergic to department stores. His idea of clothes shopping for himself used to be 20 minutes in Structure, get everything you need for a year. His clothes shopping idea for himself now? Is for me to go and buy everything for him since I find pants and tops that he really likes. (Note the clever appeal to my ego built into that one.)

Finally, if forced to shop with me, there is no way on God's green earth that The Boy would encourage me to extend the trip. He would want me to buy the very first thing that looked like it might even come close to fitting. He might beg with me. Plead with me. Possibly offer to buy it himself if it meant leaving the store immediately.


I only hope that this anonymous girl realizes the treasure that she has in her possession.

|| Stephanie 1:57 PM

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

A Celebrity Sighting!

Notice how Tom and Katie (pardon me...Kate) have been conspicuously absent from the media lately? Well, I know where they've been. My house!

Don't believe me? Then take a look at the photographic evidence.

Here's Tom. Note the crazy eyes.

And Katie looks so pretty and surprisingly poised!

Alright, alright, it's not THE Tom & Katie, but they are indeed A Tom and Katie. We are currently cat sitting Tomi & Katie (as they are truly named) due to 'circumstances beyond our control' -- which really just means it's a long and tedious story that I will not trouble you with. The Boy's mom is on vacation until this Friday and he was left in charge of 'checking in' on our celebrity cat friends at his mom's house a few times a week. Some stuff happened, and now the cats are staying with us until his mom returns. I really don't mind, they're pretty sweet, but with our own Maxers and these two, we have two adults and a menagerie of cats in a 725 sq. ft. apartment. Not really ideal, you could say.

The Boy refers to them as our herd. Which is cute. And they are pretty good. My little beastie seems to be fairing pretty well, except that I think he wants his house back to himself. He is mostly just curious about the other cats, whereas they are more confrontational. After four days of being hissed and swiped at for walking by the other two, he seems to have had it, and now HE is the one doing the growling and chasing. I know that I should reprimand him, and I do, but I can't help feeling he's just the teensiest bit justified.

Aw well, no scratches, no bleeding and no real fights. I think we're doing pretty well. After all, The Max looks pretty content, no?


|| Stephanie 12:23 PM